Motivation

What motivates us?  Actually screw you... what the hell motivates me?  Because today, this particular depressing nothing day in january I couldn't tell you, I don't have any drive, focus or point of view.  I really know that I should be "getting after it."  "stayin' ahead of the pack." "Workin' toward goals" and all of that shit but i really don't feel like it, ya know?  Truthfully i would like to sit around all day and do nothing but watch reruns of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" online but guess what, i have kids, a wife and a career.  I want to continue to improve my health so I have to workout and eat right, I have to maintain some kind of marketing and networking presence for my company and I have to continue to the creative process by "writing" projects for the company to perform so i can't just play on Facebook, watch reruns or just between me and you-- take naps.  You know the only naps I take are involuntary... they honestly happen when my son and I are sitting on the couch watching some cartoon, and they are not pretty either, they are really bad naps that take place while I'm sitting up and drooling, it's more of a sanitarium catatonic thing than it is a nap.  Today, i have taken four of them, and they are not nourishing bits of slumber either, they leave my eyes droopier, my mind foggier and my body crampier.  I have spent 30 seconds of every minute of today feeling worthless, not in a harmful "end of the world" type way, just in a "What is wrong with me?" kind of way. 

I think I figured it out, there is nothing wrong with me, Outside of being human.  I think the number of people that can make themselves get up at the crack of Dark-Thirty and do a 60 minute Pilates workout, drink Grapefruit Juice and take 19 servings of vitamins are an admirable insane bunch of people, they are also the same people that put their jobs above their families, their money above their friends and their goals at the cost of everyone else around them.  They are deeply motivated, they don't allow themselves to have a day like mine because then they lose "The race" I don't think I'm a runner in their race.  I think I'm that guy who entered the Marathon with the idea of finishing but not killing myself to do it.  So, yes, today I'm a useless blob, it's true-- of all the blobbiest days of my life this may be the very blobbiest.  I have done nothing that resembles work, I have pawned my son off on computer games and TV, I sent the other one to ski.  Tomorrow I am going to be right back in the marathon amongst the motivated but today let me have my reruns and my Nacho chips.  I don't know if I've earned them but I'm not a bad guy, just a little unmotivated that's all.

Pet Peeves

I am finding out a lot about pet peeves people have.  They are little things mostly, things you wouldn't think people hate but then when they are confronted with the subject they lose it!  Sometimes if you are in the right company and you say just the right thing you can cause a forehead vein to absolutely pop in the person you are talking to.  Sometimes it can be simply mentioning a sports team, driving through a certain state, dancing, reality shows or people who don't take care of carts at the grocery store. 

Recently I posted something on my facebook status about putting your carts back.  I was surprised at how seriously people take this simple task and some of the emotions that were attached to it, I recently heard a friend of mine lose his mind on how much he hates the act of dancing and I have another friend who hates anything and all things involving actress/model Andie MacDowell.  I myself can get pretty rabid whenever I am confronted with a conversation involving the NY Yankees.  I think people look at us when we are in these states of pure ballistic hate and disgust and think we are crazy but in truth i think we are more sane than those calm people who say:  "Why are you wasting your time and energy on being so upset about this stupid stuff?" 

Here's the world that I live in, I live in a world where I like to go off about the little things, I like to release the valve on things like "Why Snooki has a book deal" or "Why does Rob Schneider continue to get movie roles?" and why do radio stations still feel the need to play "Takin'Care of Business" and why "Born to be wild" is played as a comedic device in a movie everytime an old person gets on a motorcycle.  I have to lose my mind on these things because there is a lot of real pain in the world, and a lot of things that piss me off and if I didn't release humorously on some of the less offensive things the things that really blow my mind would make me explode. 

So if you read this I want you think of something little that really just bakes your cookies and then think of something that just makes you sad and worry about the future of mankind and then go off about the lesser thing and I think you will feel better overall.

Warm and Fuzzy!

This Christmas season could be more aptly titled Thanksgiving for me.  I know, I know Thanksgiving is part of the Holiday season but Thanksgiving seemed somewhat detached from the rest of it all, because Christmas was so incredibly cool.  I had a chance to not only spend quality time with my two wonderful children and outstanding wife but I also was able to see people that have touched every single aspect of my life from childhood, to high school to college and beyond.  I am so very thankful to have seen all of them and to be able to spend time with them.

We shared stories of family, tragedy, comedy and drama.  Cancer survival, parental illnesses and parental deaths, adopted children, the things that our kids do that drive us crazy, the things that our spouses do that drive us crazy and the thing that kept us all from losing our minds was finding the humor in all of it.  I don't remember a Christmas season in which I found so much light and I don't mean the LED's hanging from eavestroughs I mean the light in my friend's and familie's eyes.  There was truly a feeling of hope and goodwill amongst all that I encountered, some traveled from very far and some from right around the corner but we all found the common ground of reminiscence and laughter. 

When the clock struck 12 on New Year's Eve... I suddenly had that stupid "I turn 40 this year!!!!" moment. and then I thought of all of the stories, laughs and moments shared in the past week and I felt good when I gave my wife that New Year's kiss because I knew that I was a rich man because of the roof over my head, the woman by my side, the kids on the other and all of the great friends I have. Thanks for the great Thanksgiving family and friends, that being said my next blog post could be an angry rant about dieting but enjoy this warm and fuzzy!!!!